"20 Blue Condoms" - Last Drag

 "20 Blue Condoms" is a demo released by a small band from Co. Offaly, Ireland called Last Drag. Why bother reviewing them? Two reasons: 1) I'm good friends with the lead singer/bassist Dave so I'm gonna try and give the lads some publicity and 2) they're demo is FREE to download. Free music? Surely there's nothing wrong with that? (Download link below) And if THAT doesn't get you, I, Dr. Morgan, designed the demo cover. Well ok, I didn't design it, I just sort of re-did it from the original (which looked pretty much the exact same). 

1. Fleury Has No Cock
2. The Ballad Of Joe Fox
3. She's A Bitch
4. Jack In My Head
5. Same Old Stories
6. Tropical Island Song (Huka-Chaka)
7. Today
8. Riverside
This demo is straight up honest music, what you hear is what it is; good music and good fun. Now, a small warning for people out there: this demo was not recorded in a studio but in their drummer's shed. As Dave says on their myspace page: "Anyway, we've decided this demo really isn't good enough to make a big deal out of the release. In fact, it's pretty shit. Not that we're not proud of the songs (we are - of most of them :P ), but the quality is diabolical."  

But don't let this deter you. The songs are good, the talent is great and as we say in Ireland, the craic is mighty. The demo opens up with a short reenacting sketch from Walk The Line in the track "Fleury Has No Cock". I can only imagine the full hilarity of this track can only be realised in actually knowing Fleury or at least someone by that name. Imagine you do and listen to the song. Shits and giggles ensue.

Up next is "The Ballad Of Joe Fox". Not a bad song! Once again, I'm left wishing I knew who Joe Fox was because this truly is a great song and I'm loving the harmonies in the verses. And don't think that having just one guitar solo is enough for these lads. 

"She's A Bitch". It's pretty slick with a nice bouncy bassline and a solo on the axe so sharp it'd castrate a gnat. The only bad points for me are the overpowering cymbals in the recording and the one, particular lyric: "You shoulda walked right out that door". I want to know what this "door" is that so many songs seems to refer to. You all know what I'm talking about.

If you've zoned out at all listening to this demo, watch yourself, "Jack In My Head" will light a fire under your freckly, hairy, pimpled ass and have you running. The intro is badass very Metallica-Maiden-esque but this is ever so slightly misleading...under the halfway mark. There's a wee little bass breakdown that just sounds ever so slightly familiar but I can't quite place my finger on why. Now, I've sucked Garry's balls enough in this review with regards to his guitar shredding abilities but this is by far his the best solo. In fact, this song would define Last Drag for me, albeit the lyrics are a little dodgy.

"Same Old Stories" opens with a drum line that sounds, once again, very familiar but I honestly can't tell why. This song has all the positive points of all the other songs with an added effect akin to an old megaphone on the vocals which is difficult to pull off on a rock song but these guys managed it perfectly. Once again, don't get me started on the solo. Great work in this track.

"Tropical Island Song" is just funny. This is the other side of Last Drag. Yeah, they're a rock band but who's to say you can't have a bit of craic with a few instruments and a mic? Most things in this are off time but try listening to this while imagining yourself at the recording of this and try not to laugh. I dare you. No seriously. I dare you.

"Today" isn't a bad cover of the Smashing Pumpkins hit and the band really do make it their own, even if the vocals are slightly fuzzy in places.

"Riverside" is, if you don't already know, a dancehall theme by a Dj called Sidney Sampson (once met him in a club...tall fecker so he is). This cover track is only 26 seconds long but let's face it, that's how long every dance song is if you don't repeat it for over half an hour.

Remember I said that was nothing more and nothing less than honest rock and roll? Well I'm telling no lies. The songs are good enough to distract you from the recording quality and you can't help but smile every once and a while as you listen to it track by track. You can hear the fun that was had in recording 20 Blue Condoms, especially in "Tropical Island Song", "Fleury Has No Cock", and with the little Mexican Bandit impression in one of the songs (I'll let you figure out which one. Trust me, it's not difficult).

Song Highlights:
"The Ballad of Joe Fox"
"She's A Bitch"
"Jack In My Head"

This is the free download link I mentioned earlier (if you're warned about the link being dangerous, trust me, it isn't. I got those warnings aswell but it's fine).

Doctor's Rating: 7/10

"20 Blue Condoms" - Recommended by the Good Doctor

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