"20 Blue Condoms" - Last Drag

 "20 Blue Condoms" is a demo released by a small band from Co. Offaly, Ireland called Last Drag. Why bother reviewing them? Two reasons: 1) I'm good friends with the lead singer/bassist Dave so I'm gonna try and give the lads some publicity and 2) they're demo is FREE to download. Free music? Surely there's nothing wrong with that? (Download link below) And if THAT doesn't get you, I, Dr. Morgan, designed the demo cover. Well ok, I didn't design it, I just sort of re-did it from the original (which looked pretty much the exact same). 

Tracklist:

1. Fleury Has No Cock
2. The Ballad Of Joe Fox
3. She's A Bitch
4. Jack In My Head
5. Same Old Stories
6. Tropical Island Song (Huka-Chaka)
7. Today
8. Riverside

This demo is straight up honest music, what you hear is what it is; good music and good fun. Now, a small warning for people out there: this demo was not recorded in a studio but in their drummer's shed. As Dave says on their myspace page: "Anyway, we've decided this demo really isn't good enough to make a big deal out of the release. In fact, it's pretty shit. Not that we're not proud of the songs (we are - of most of them ), but the quality is diabolical."  

But don't let this deter you. The songs are good, the talent is great and as we say in Ireland, the craic is mighty. The demo opens up with a short reenacting sketch from Walk The Line in the track "Fleury Has No Cock". I can only imagine the full hilarity of this track can only be realised in actually knowing Fleury or at least someone by that name. Imagine you do and listen to the song. Shits and giggles ensue.

Up next is "The Ballad Of Joe Fox". Not a bad song! Once again, I'm left wishing I knew who Joe Fox was because this truly is a great song and I'm loving the harmonies in the verses. And don't think that having just one guitar solo is enough for these lads. 

"She's A Bitch". It's pretty slick with a nice bouncy bassline and a solo on the axe so sharp it'd castrate a gnat. The only bad points for me are the overpowering cymbals in the recording and the one, particular lyric: "You shoulda walked right out that door". I want to know what this "door" is that so many songs seems to refer to. You all know what I'm talking about.

If you've zoned out at all listening to this demo, watch yourself, "Jack In My Head" will light a fire under your freckly, hairy, pimpled ass and have you running. The intro is badass very Metallica-Maiden-esque but this is ever so slightly misleading...under the halfway mark. There's a wee little bass breakdown that just sounds ever so slightly familiar but I can't quite place my finger on why. Now, I've sucked Garry's balls enough in this review with regards to his guitar shredding abilities but this is by far his the best solo. In fact, this song would define Last Drag for me, albeit the lyrics are a little dodgy.

"Same Old Stories" opens with a drum line that sounds, once again, very familiar but I honestly can't tell why. This song has all the positive points of all the other songs with an added effect akin to an old megaphone on the vocals which is difficult to pull off on a rock song but these guys managed it perfectly. Once again, don't get me started on the solo. Great work in this track.

"Tropical Island Song" is just funny. This is the other side of Last Drag. Yeah, they're a rock band but who's to say you can't have a bit of craic with a few instruments and a mic? Most things in this are off time but try listening to this while imagining yourself at the recording of this and try not to laugh. I dare you. No seriously. I dare you.

"Today" isn't a bad cover of the Smashing Pumpkins hit and the band really do make it their own, even if the vocals are slightly fuzzy in places.

"Riverside" is, if you don't already know, a dancehall theme by a Dj called Sidney Sampson (once met him in a club...tall fecker so he is). This cover track is only 26 seconds long but let's face it, that's how long every dance song is if you don't repeat it for over half an hour.

Remember I said that was nothing more and nothing less than honest rock and roll? Well I'm telling no lies. The songs are good enough to distract you from the recording quality and you can't help but smile every once and a while as you listen to it track by track. You can hear the fun that was had in recording 20 Blue Condoms, especially in "Tropical Island Song", "Fleury Has No Cock", and with the little Mexican Bandit impression in one of the songs (I'll let you figure out which one. Trust me, it's not difficult).

Song Highlights:

"The Ballad of Joe Fox"

"She's A Bitch"

"Jack In My Head"

This is the free download link I mentioned earlier (if you're warned about the link being dangerous, trust me, it isn't. I got those warnings aswell but it's fine).

Doctor's Rating: 7/10

"20 Blue Condoms" - Recommended by the Good Doctor

IYMAs - Volume 3: Girls & Boys

As this is my first review, I think I I'll give an album close to my heart some publicity, so to speak. This is an album recorded by the Irish Youth Music Awards (IYMAs) of some of the best unsigned local bands and solo artists in Ireland (3 of which I'm acquainted with) so you can see why I'll start with this one. It's available on iTunes for a tenner (link below).

Tracklist:
1. "Keep You Alive" - Bebop & Rocksteady
2. "We're Not Dating (That's Disgusting)" - I Call Shotgun
3. "Last Call" - Small Town Heros
4. "Too Old" - Seán Murphy
5. "Old Friend" - Bebop & Rocksteady
6. "I'm On The Run" - Shooting Saturn
7. "Sophisticated Boom" - Small Town Heros
8. "Only Human" - Seán Murphy
9. "Memoirs of a Pen" - Mex
10. "Conviction" - Bebop & Rocksteady
11. "Babes Alright" - Persistence
12. "The Third Rail" - Dave Skinner
13. "Come With Me" - Rachel Lehane
14. "The End" - Eoghan, Stacy and Shannon
15. "I Don't Miss You At All" - I Call Shotgun

As you can see, there is quite a few different artists here, all of whom you can be sure to find on Facebook or Myspace if you search. This review will go artist by artist.

Bebop And Rocksteady
With three tracks on the album, more than any other artist, these guys were obviously valued high and for good reason. The track "Conviction" is a groovy, grungy, bluesy piece with an absolutley ass-clenching guitar solo towards the end, a perfect way of show-casing the band's potential. "Old Friend" is a beautifully crafted bit of tuneage. There's something about this song that makes me feel nostalgic although I can't quite place my finger on it. "Old Friend" isn't too dissimilar to final song by Bebop here and also their recently released single, "Keep You Alive" which, I must say, features a jem of bass solo. Just sayin'. Combine all three of these tracks and the only words to describe Bebop & Rocksteady's sound are whiskey-soaked and bluesy. But in a good way!

Dave Skinner
"The Third Rail" is a funky instrumental with, what I can only describe as a driving bass line behind it. This piece is great with some great riffage on the axe but I find it to be a tad repetative. However, anyone who has an appreciation for some nice guitar riffs will have an appreciation for this.

Eoghan, Stacy and Shannon
Now, while I might feel that the band name (if it is a band name) isn't fantastic, the song "The End", is. Well, mostly. Is a beautiful song and beautiful vocals although I do feel kind of let down by the male vocals throughout most of it. The lyrics are gorgeous and the song is a nice little acoustic break from the rest.

I Call Shotgun
After listening to these guys, it's obvious why they've got two songs on the album. "We're Not Dating (That's Disgusting)" is a fantastic song that kinda-sortof reminds me of that song Avril Lavigne did for that new Alice In Wonderland movie. The song's great but I think it could've been better. There's some element of lackluster in the lead vocals, something akin to a confidence issue. The talent is there but the ability to just belt out the song isn't really being put to use. Also, there's a build up towards the final chorus on the snare but when the chorus arrives, we expect something big and awesome from the build up but it just sort of seems to let deflate to the same level as how it was sung previously.
"I Don't Miss You At All" is a more up-beat improvement but the comments on the vocals still stand. Overall however, I Call Shotgun are a cracker of a band.

Mex
Tired of the guitars and rock'n'roll? "Memoirs of a Pen" is exactly the break you need. Opening up with some beautiful piano that's kindof Massive Attack-ish, it breaks out into some sick hip hop raps with a nice slick beat alongside it. Now I've never reviewed anything hip-hop, rap and Rnb before, I wouldn't know the first thing about it but the overdubbing is flawless and the female vocals on the chorus and just savage.

Persistence
"Babes Alright" is an anthem of some kind. Guitar solo? Bitchin. Groovey, funky, dynamic, lyrically clever, inventive...however...it falls short in a good few places. First of all...the vocals. The vocals could certainly do with some work and if I'm not mistaken, he nearly sounds like he's doing a Bob Dylan impression at 1:16 with the tempo slowed down fractionally for no reason. And the drums? The drummer has the time-keeping skills of Ringo star falling down a spiral staircase.

Rachel Lehane
Alright, this is a little more like it! A nice break in the album, acoustic guitar, sing-songwritery stuff. Unnecessary over-use of harmonies and again with the lackluster female vocals. GIRLS!! If you're gonna sing, belt them choons out!

Seán Murphy
Oh I've been looking forward to reviewing this guy. As a friend of mine, forgive me if I come across as biased. Straight up, honest rock'n'roll in "Too Old" which, everytime I hear it, I find myself singing the chorus to myself all day. A beautiful little acoustic break brings some more focus to the lyrics before getting off it's ass and cracking ur nuts with a swift riff-kick. "Only Human" is, at first, your typical singer-songwriter suff but there's a level of uniqueness about it's structure and it really helps to show off the lyric and vocal talent this guy's got.

Shooting Saturn
If "I'm On The Run" was a person, I'd be pointing at them, looking at all the other songs featuring female vocalists and say "This is how it's done." "I'm On The Run" is a fast and clever rock'n'roll piece which has a badass riff throughout and especially at the end the song just gets heavy as tits. 

Small Town Heros
When I first heard this band play live, I was very skeptical. The music was good, the songs were heavy, the lyrics were clever...the vocals were shite. Now, let me explain here a little. I know the lead singer, Matthew, and he always was a good singer. A blues singer. But when he started singer rock tunes, I could only hear something lost in translation but then this album came out and I gotta say, I was nothing short of impressed. "Last Call" just displays a mastery of songwriting way beyond the bands years with a kindof heavy-yey-melencholy feel to it. And finally we've got "Sophisticated Boom". Of every song I have ever heard in my whole life, this song has possibly one of the best main riffs I've ever heard in a rock song. It's funky, it's groovy, it's heavy, it's slick, it's twisted, it's catchy...it's everything.



Overall, this is a great compilation album of up and coming Irish artists of a younger generation.

Song Highlights:
"Conviction"
"Too Old"
"Sophisticated Boom"
"Memoirs of a Pen"


Here is the iTunes link, as promised:

Doctor's Rating: 7/10
IYMAs - Volume 3: Girls & Boys - Recommended by the Good Doctor